Well, well, well. Gather round, because we have another contender for the “Why On Earth Is There Sugar In That?” awards.
This time? The humble burger.
Surely Not The Burger…
If you decided a carnivore or paleo-style approach was for you — meat, eggs, back-to-basics simplicity — you’d be forgiven for thinking burgers would be firmly on your safe list.
- It’s minced meat.
- Formed into a patty.
- It’s cooked
- It’s eaten
That’s it.
At no point in human history did a caveperson stare thoughtfully at a freshly hunted mammoth and mutter,
“You know what this needs? A sprinkling of dextrose.”
And yet… here we are.
Enter: The Double Whammy
Flip the packet over and what do we find?
- Sugar.
- And dextrose.
Not one, but two forms of sweetness quietly tucked into what should essentially be… seasoned meat. It’s like inviting one uninvited guest to dinner and discovering they’ve brought a plus-one.
Now, technically, dextrose is just another name for a simple sugar. So we’re not even dealing with variety here — we’re dealing with commitment.
Why Is It There?
Good question. Sometimes sugar is added to:
- Enhance flavour
- Aid browning
- Improve texture
- Extend shelf life
From a manufacturing perspective, it makes sense. From a “this is supposed to be meat” perspective… it’s mildly absurd.
We’ve reached a point where even the burger has been sent to finishing school and taught to be a little bit sweet.
The Irony Is Strong
The truly funny part?
You could be meticulously avoiding obvious sugar:
- No biscuits
- No chocolate
- No fizzy drinks
Meanwhile your burger is casually contributing to the tally like it’s doing community service. And don’t even get me started on the bun — which, yes, we’ve already established is practically moonlighting as cake.
The Moral of the Mammoth
If the ingredients list reads longer than your weekly to-do list, pause.
If sugar appears where sugar has absolutely no business being, raise an eyebrow.
And remember: sugar in a lab coat is clever. It doesn’t just hang out in desserts anymore. It’s diversified its portfolio. Next thing you know, it’ll be applying for a job in the spice rack.
Stay vigilant. Flip the packet.